Kid jokes, 250+ Funny Jokes for Kids, Funny Random Jokes and Riddles for Kids
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1.What does a cloud wear?
Thunderwear!
2.Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no body to go with.
11. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
A garbage truck!
13.What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
14. Why did the police play baseball?
He wanted to get a catch!
16. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Nothing. They fast!
Funny Random Jokes and Riddles for Kids
Toad!
19.What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
22.What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
23.Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
24.How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!
25.Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
Because they habanero!
27. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.
28.What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
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29.How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
Finding half a worm in your apple!
Kid jokes, Funny Random Jokes for Kids
31.What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.
32.What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
33.How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
34. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
35.When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.
36.Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?
Because she will “let it go, let it go.”
37. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.
38.What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
39.Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
41.What kind of water cannot freeze?
Hot water.
Because it saw the salad dressing!
43.Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her parents were in a jam.
You give it lemon-aid.
45.What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
46.Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
47.Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
48.What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
49.How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints.
50.How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut.
51.What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts
Funny Kid jokes, Funny Random Jokes for Kids
52.What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis!
53. How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night.
54.How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.
55.What building in your town has the most stories?
The public library.
56.Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost her!
57.What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
58.How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!
59.What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat.
60.What is a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.
61.What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow!
62.What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
63.What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend.
64.How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves.
65.What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library!
66.What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister.
Hi, bud!
Funny Kid jokes, Funny Random Jokes and Riddles for Kids
Because he wanted to see time fly!
69.How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
70.How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
It waves!
71.How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
72. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
73.What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
74.Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
75.What is a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips!!
76.How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
77. Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
78.What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite.
79.What kind of water can’t freeze?
Hot water.
80.Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
81.What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
82. What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.
83.What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
84.How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
85.What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
86.What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip.
87. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore.
88.What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
89.Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
250+ Funny Kid jokes
90.Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
91.What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
92.How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
93. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells.
94.How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
95.What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.
96.What’s green and can fly?
Super Pickle!
97.Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
98.What did the nose say to the finger?
Quit picking on me!
99.When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
100.Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.
101.What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
102.Where do vampires keep their money?
A blood bank.
103. What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?
Hoppy Birthday.
104. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
105.What’s the one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?
A year older.
106.Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania.
107.Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse.
Funny Random Jokes and Riddles for Kids
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Because they live in schools!
109. What do you cakes and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter!
110.What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel.
111. Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?
Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.
In a snow bank!
113. What do you call two bananas?
Slippers.
114.What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?
They both need a good batter.
115.Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
116.Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
117.What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
118.Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?
No, they both burn shorter.
119.What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
Funny Random Jokes for Kids
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120.What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?
A stamp.
121. What kind of award did the dentist receive?
A little plaque.
122. What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday.
123.How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
124.Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?
She wanted to ice it.
125.What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
126.Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer?
It was a pound cake.
127.Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
128.Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?
Because it had more cents.
129.Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Funny Kid jokes
130.Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
Because it’s never right.
131.What is a pony’s favorite juice?
She really likes lemon-neigh’d.
132.Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.
133.Where do fish keep their money?
In the River-Bank!
134.Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
135.What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator!
136.Why was the computer cold?
It left its window open!
137.What do you call guys who love math?
Algebros.
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Funny Random Jokes for Kids, Funny Kid jokes
138.In baseball, would it take longer to run from 1st to 2nd base or 2nd to 3rd base?
2nd to 3rd base because there’s a shortstop in between.
139.How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.
140.What has lots of leaves but never actually grew?
A book!
141.Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal?
Because he would have to convert.
142. Why was the computer cold?
It had a virus.
143.Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you count Dracula.
144.Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
Because it had too many problems.
Because there’s no point.
147.Who keeps the ocean clean?
She was a little horse.
Funny Jokes for Kids, Funny Random Jokes and Riddles for Kids
149. What did the astronaut say when he crashed into the moon?
“I Apollo-gize.”
150.Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
151.Why didn’t the orange win the race?
It ran out of juice.
152.How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.
154.What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
The thesaurus.
162.Kid: What are you doing under there?
Mom: Under where?
Kid: Ha ha! You said underwear!!
163.How do you fit more pigs on a farm?
Build a sty-scraper.
164.Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly.
165.What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
166.What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?
A milk dud.
167.Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!
168.Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
169.Why couldn’t the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?
Because it was full.
170.What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
Kid jokes
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171.Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll
172.How do pickles enjoy a day out?
They relish it.
173. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
174.What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
175.Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other side.
176. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Arrrrrrrrrr
177.Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
178.Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
179.What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.
180.What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.
181.How do you throw a party in space?
You planet.
Funny Random Jokes for Kids, Funny Kid jokes
182.What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?
He got marooned.
183.What did zero say to eight?
Nice belt!
184.What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?
8 pirates.
185.How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?
He bought it on sail.
186.What happened when the skunk was on trial?
The judge declared, “Odor in the court, odor in the court!”
187.How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.
188.Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
189.Why is pirating so addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
190.What do you call a fish without an eye?
A fsh.
191.How do pirates know that they are pirates?
They think, therefore they arrr.
192.What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
193. What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrr-ple.
194.What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie talkie.
Funny Jokes for Kids
195.What song does a cat like best?
Three Blind Mice.
196. Why are robots never afraid?
They have nerves of steel.
197.Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum.
198.Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was a-head.
199.What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?
A first-aid kit.
200.What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs.
201.Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives.
202.What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a jacket.
203. What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
“Me-ow.”
204.What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cowboom!
205.What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?
One is a cat copy; the other is a copy cat.
206.What kind of haircuts to bees get?
Buzzzzzcuts.
207.What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?
A fur ball.
208.What do you get if you cross a pie and a snake?
A pie-thon.
209.What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?
A cat-alogue.
210.What do you do if you get peanut butter on your doorknob?
Use a door jam.
Because she’s always running away from the ball!
212.Why was 6 so mad at 7?
Because 7 8 9.
213.What cat likes living in water?
An octo-puss.
Funny Random Jokes for Kids
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214.Why didn’t the robot finish his breakfast?
Because the orange juice told him to concentrate.
215.Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?
His heart wasn’t in it.
216. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?
They always hog the puck.
217.How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern…
218. Why do porcupines always win the game?
They have the most points.
219.What is a monster’s favorite dessert?
I scream.
220.Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks!
221.What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
Prank-enstein.
222.What does bread do on vacation?
Loaf around.
223.Why was the broom running late?
It over-swept.
224.What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
225.What part of the fish weighs the most?
The scales.
226.What does a witch use to do her hair?
Scarespray.
227.What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?
I Scream
228.What room does a ghost not need?
A living room.
229.Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright.
A blood hound.
Funny Kid jokes
Because it was framed!
232.What is a ghost’s nose full of?
Boo-gers.
233.Where do sheep go on vacation?
The Baaa-hamas.
234.What do birds say on Halloween?
Trick or tweet.
235.What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
236.Are black cats bad luck?
Sure, if you’re a mouse.
237. What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
238.How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A pumpkin patch.
239.Why do birds fly?
It’s faster than walking.
240.When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you’re a mouse.
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241.Why did Superman flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
242.What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.
244.Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
245.What happens when a vampire goes in the snow?
Frost bite.
246. Can February March?
No, but April May.
He was feeling rotten.
248. What time do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
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249.What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
250.Why did the giraffes get bad grades?
She had her head in the clouds.
Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids, Funny Random Jokes and Riddles for Kids
251.What instrument does a skeleton play?
The trom-bone.
252.What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg.
253. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Day-scare centers.
254.What did the traffic light say to the truck?
Don’t look, I’m changing.
The Bunny Hop.
257.How does the moon stay up in the sky?
Moonbeams!
258.What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold.
Funny Kid jokes
259.Why isn’t there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much.
260. How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
Only one because after that, it’s not empty.
261.Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!
262.What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny.
263.What day of the week are most twins born on?
Twos-day!
264.Why did the robber jump in the shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway.
265.Why did the Easter egg hide?
He was a little chicken.
266.Would February March?
No, but April May.
267.What kind of shoes do robbers wear?
Sneakers.
268.What do you call a deer with no eyes?